(462) Work and Holiday Visa

After my journey through Australia on a Work and Holiday visa, a few of my friends were interested in such visa. I'm going to try to provide as much information as I can within my knowledge. This article will only serve US citizens.

Working Holiday visa is a residence permit that allows one to enter a country and have the ability to reside and work and/or study for six (6) to twelve (12) months (restriction on the duration of study) without the need for sponsorship for employment. This program is restricted to people age 18 to 30 which also encourage young adults to travel and experience cultural exchange. Why do Working Holiday visa? It is one of the easiest visa to obtain and it lets you travel a country for one year AND it permits you to work there without sponsorship. What kind of people have I met that has done this visa? There were basically two kinds of people: those that want to explore the world and discover what they want to do before they go home to attend university or those that are lost with what they want to do so career wise so they travel to seek for enlightenment. I've met people leaving their country on their 18th birthday to people that make sure they enter the country one day before they turn 31. US is partnered up with six countries to allow such visa entry and they all vary in terms of requirements and duration (which is shitty compare to other countries' partnership).

US citizen -> Canada: Full time students or recent graduate within 9 months can apply for working holiday to Canada for 12 months.

US citizen -> Singapore: Full time students or recent graduate within the last year from a World Top 200 Ranked University (based on specific ranking, you can search that) can apply for working holiday to Singapore for 6 months.

US citizen -> Ireland: Full time student or recent graduate within the last year can apply for working holiday to Ireland for 12 months.

US citizen -> South Korea: Full time student or recent graduate within the last year can apply for working holiday to South Korea for 12 months. Working Holiday via holders cannot perform jobs in education, modeling, entertainment, and some other restrictions.

US citizen -> New Zealand: Other than age restriction, you may apply for working holiday to New Zealand freely as long as you have enough funds to purchase return tickets. Work for 3 months at a farm to gain an extra 3 months in New Zealand for a total of 15 months.

US citizen -> Australia: Other than age restriction, you may apply for work and holiday to Australia freely as long as you have enough funds to purchase return tickets. Work for 3 months in agriculture, tourism, hospitality, mining, construction, disability and age care on northern Australia to gain an additional second year for a total of 24 months.

Conclusion? Unless you've graduated within the last year, you're fucked. You can try to enroll part-time online course to say you're still studying, but otherwise Australia and New Zealand are the only two countries that are available to you. That's why I chose Australia.

Work and Holiday (Subclass 462) visa is the "working holiday" visa that US citizen apply for. Previously, there's a difference between 462 and 417 (462 can only do one year vs 417 can work at a farm to get a sign off for 2nd year), but due to recent changes, there's not much of a difference now. As of November 2015, 462 visa holders are allowed to apply for second year as long as they work in agriculture, tourism, hospitality, mining, construction, disability and age care within the northern Australia (Queenlands, Northern Territory, north side of Western Australia). This is an initiative to develop the northern part of Australia (extremely rural unlike Brisbane, Sydney, Melbourne, and Perth to name a few that are on the southern part of Australia).

Pre-Visa Application
Make sure you save enough money. Australia is not cheap to get around. The country is a bit smaller than United States. Going from East to West require at least 4.5 hours of flight. Outside of the big cities, it's all desert and trees. In terms of living, living in big cities are costly. Sydney is equivalent to living in New York City. Living in Melbourne city and its surrounding, rents are AU$350 a week to get your own room or AU$200 a week to share a room. You might find yourself living with 5 other share mates sharing the flat. Perth is a bit lower, but still pretty costly. In terms of food, if you can find a market, you can find cheaper food. If you shop at supermarket, expect it to cost a lot more than the US. At Queen Victoria market, I can get potatoes, capsicum (bell pepper), carrots, bananas for AU$1 a kilogram (2.2lbs) each. In a supermarket, potatoes go for AU$3/kg, capsicum range from AU$4 to 7/kg, bananas go for AU$3/kg, steak go for AU$33/kg you get the gist of it. Eating out ranges from AU$10 to AU$45 for comfortable food. Big cities are spread out and you will find yourself flying a lot of you want to travel all around Australia. You can rent a car if you find people to split the cost. You can also find some relocation deals; basically you help a company relocate their car and they will only charge you $1 a day and give you a set amount of date to get the car to the other location. But overall, I find myself spending the most money on accommodation and transportation. Also, I might not be able to provide as much information, so do your Google search too.

Visa Application
https://www.border.gov.au/immiaccount
Create an ImmiAccount. Pretty straight forward on applying. The visa will cost US$440. Once you complete your application, they will require you to get a medical examination at a designated health center/hospital. The examination will cost US$400 and insurance does not cover the cost. Make sure you have like 2 months time frame for this process before your flight date. Unlike New Zealand working holiday visa process that sends you the approval email within 15 hours after application, Australia one will take at least two weeks to get the examination and two weeks to confirm that you've been approved for the visa. I don't remember if they asked me for proof of funding that I can purchase a round trip ticket, but they might ask for that too. Overall, it's a simple visa application.

Pre-Departure
If you plan on traveling all around Australia, I recommend getting a hiking backpack that can carry 46L~50L. I traveled around Australia for a year on about 33lbs worth of stuff including all my electronics. One thing you don't want to be doing is lugging around a huge luggage. You want something that can fit into hostel lockers and something easy to carry on your shoulder because that will free up your two hands to carry other misc stuff. Some essentials are plastic bags which will come in handy in any occasions. Quick dry underwear and towel for those times when you need to check out of the hostel at 10AM. The whole year, I survived on 3 pairs of ExOfficio Men's Give-N-Go boxer briefs. Wash them during shower, dries over night, and significantly lighten on the amount you need to bring/carry. One thing good about hostels is that they provide pillow, blanket, and linen. If you find yourself renting, you can get some cheap bedding from Kmart or Big W. Unlike going to work or school, you probably won't see the same people for a week straight, so pack light on clothes. It's okay to wear the same clothes for 2~3 days before washing. Cover it up with cologne, perfume, deodorant, whatever you have. I brought 4 short sleeves t-shirts, two button up, 2 shorts, 2 long pants, and a ultra light down vest plus a casual jacket. Bring Spring/Summer clothes. Dress more during colder weathers, but you cannot wear cold clothing during summer. Plan accordingly to travel south during summer and north during winter to escape the cold.

Traveling
As always, be cautious of your surroundings, be safe, and have fun!

I don't want to type too much, so I'll end it here. Need more advice? Contact me.

Home Bound; For Now

11 months ago, I boarded a one way flight to Sydney, Australia on a 462 working holiday visa with no plans mapped out, not knowing a single soul, going into a country where I only know of Sydney Opera House and nothing else, only carrying a 20kg backpack with me. Tired of my old job and not knowing what career path I wanted to head toward, I decided to travel all over Australia to my heart's desire to do some soul searching. Not only has this journey been inspiring and extreme, but I've also grew and developed as a person. The things I've done, the mess I've made, the troubles I've encountered, the challenges I've faced, the food I've tasted, the coffee I've drank, the metric system I've learned, the Pokémon I've caught, the tears and laughters I've shared, the people I've met, the friends I've befriended, the Jesus I've devoted to, the one I've fell in love with, the home I've second'd, nothing short of what was needed for myself. I'm coming home not only bringing my six packs... of Tim Tams, but I'm bringing home a better person, a better son, a better friend, a better potential employee (hire me pls), a better me. Farewell, Australia; for now. I'll be back very soon and when I come back, I'll take you on like a storm! Peace, latah!

New Zealand: The Week that felt like Months!

Boy what a week it has been...! Marco, Satie, and I are finally back to Melbourne after a week long in New Zealand that felt like we were there for months...!

As a slacker that I am, I waited until very late to book everything for the trip and making stupid mistakes. We were going to book a Britz campervan which was supposedly one of the best campervan companies in New Zealand. I was checking on Wednesday morning and there were still 4 people campervans. I went out for something and when I came back, it was all booked out! I rushed around the internet searching for alternatives and eventually booked a campervan with a company named JUCY. They have average reviews, but it's better than nothing because we wanted to experience living in a campervan. As for the flight tickets, we were going to book from Sunday to Sunday, but I didn't want Satie to come home on Sunday morning tired and still have to go to school, so I decided to book Saturday to Saturday. Later that day, Marco asked which days have I booked the flight tickets and I said Saturday to Saturday. That was when I immediately remember that Satie is taking her EILTS on Saturday.... Oh geez. I was so scared that I would be a disappointment again so I hurried and try to change my booking for Sunday to Saturday. Turns out that I booked the most basic ticket which is not flexible for changing flights, so I had to pay extra to fly on Sunday and extra for flight changing fees. So the flight tickets for all three of us turned out to be AU$1800 instead of AU$1500 and the campervan turned out AU$900 instead of AU$800. The flight ticket was okay because my previous booking was cheap enough to make up the difference since flying out Sunday was supposedly more expensive to begin with, The campervan is a $100 extra, but I convinced myself that there's no use blaming myself.

So everything is booked and we're ready to go! Everyone was excited for the trip because Marco needed some time to walk away from Australia. Satie haven't really had a legit vacation since she came to Australia. I... Well, I wanted to do a bit more travelling before I head back home. The day finally came, Satie finished her IELTS with average confidence in passing, and we were all packed and ready to go. Our flight was 12:05AM Sunday, so we took an Uber to the airport at 9:30PM Saturday so we don't bother Adrian. My first time using Uber, there were no UberBlack around so we ended up taking an UberX which was luxurious riding... We were like, wow! It's a Mercedes Benz! The bill? Came up to be $100...... Luckily, it was my first time using the app, so we got $20 off. We got to the airport and Hungry Jacks before we boarded the plane.

5:50AM Sunday 26, June:
We arrived Christchurch Airport safely and early. JUCY does not open until 8AM, so we chose a corner in the airport to rest up before we head out, but we got kicked around by securities at the airport because we're not supposed to be sleeping around haha... We ended up moping around until 10AM before we finally got to the rental company to pick up the car. We were excited to pick up the campervan until I did all my paper work and went out to review the vehicle. That's when everyone's face dropped. It was a big green van. Satie described it as the Scooby Doo van. Inside was not as luxurious as the YouTube video we saw for the Britz campervan. I can see Satie and Marco's faces the whole time thinking "Are you serious?" I tried to fake my smile and laughter so the poor guy going over how to use the campervan won't feel bad. I keep saying, "Sweet! Cool! Yeah, it's nice! Yeah yeah...!" Lol... It was not good and I felt horrible, but the campervan was actually not that bad once we settled down with it. We drove out of the parking at 10:30AM and finally started our trip. We headed straight for Christchurch CBD so we can stock up on food, eat lunch, and head out. Things can't get any worse. It was a cloudy rainy day; a sad mood where we just want to stay in and relax. Once we got to Christchurch, our face dropped again. Apparently, Christchurch had an Earthquake a few years back. Everywhere in the city, there were a lot of construction and broken down buildings everywhere. There were graffiti tags everywhere, void spaces of buildings being rebuilt, rarely do we see anyone walking around the city, and the weather completed the mood of Depression. The city looked so depressing! The whole time we were there, we were feeling like, "Okay! We've had enough of New Zealand! Lets go home because 

A New Journey Awaits!

I have a flight in 3 hours to catch flying to Christchurch, New Zealand! :) I'll be going with Satie and Marco. I know it will be a great and fun trip. It will be a good time for me to take the time and reflect on life.

I've been so lazy this past week. I kept telling myself to finish my previous blog, but I never got around to it. I've been doing planning for this New Zealand trip as well as following the market regarding the exit of UK. It's amazing how one country's decision can impact the whole world. I ran into some stupid things while booking flights and a campervan, but I guess it's okay. I take it as a lesson and know what to do next time.

Recently, I've been thinking a lot about returning to Melbourne for longer term. This trip, I've been experimenting a lot with cooking. While living here with Marco that has been studying pastry, I've been taking interest in cooking with him. I actually have fun cooking because he gives me tips and the way he cooks look intriguing. With a creative side in me, I was thinking maybe I can come back to Melbourne to study pastry and eventually get PR here. Haha... I don't know if that's really what I want, but I need to start making my own decisions. Maybe I'll go back home for a year, see how the environment treats me, then make a decision based on that. It's good enough to have the idea rather than doing long term planning. At least now, I know I have the courage to make a change when I am unhappy because I have already took a big step to quit my job to come here. I love Melbourne. I feel like I have a family here with my church friends. Everything here is great, or so I want to think so. :) God has a plan for me, so there's no reason to beat around the bush about something insignificant.

Anyways, I need to start getting ready to head out. I'll keep this updated as much as possible. I won't be bringing my laptop, so I can free up some space.

Blessed

Melbourne is too engrained into me. I feel like this is my home. My family is here and I want to stay here because this is where I feel happiness. Although I do not have any source of income right now, I am blessed to have friends around me that will continue to pray for my well being and Adrian continues to let me live at his place free of charge.

Today was Sabbath Day and I went to church again. Church never fails to excite me and gives me hope and love. People there loves my presence. Today, I learned that I need to be patient. We give in to instant gratification too easily now a days. We need to develop a sense of patience so we can achieve something that we long for. There might be a lot of obstacles, but as long as we continue to work hard and don't give into bad habits, we will achieve what we desire. 4 people got baptised today and their testimonies were wonderful. People come from different backgrounds and life experiences, but God has somehow touched their heart and give them hope. The love for God is so powerful that they decide to dedicate their life long journey to let God guide them. Their testimonies were really inspirational. Who knows, maybe in a few years, I will be making the same decisions as these friends to devote my life long journey into God's hand.

Cooking

NZ

Home 

Walking with Christ

Although we do not always walk a smooth path in our lives, I believe that He has a reason and plan for the things that we experience in life. My trip has been a big roller-coaster with ups and down, loops and falls, sideways and back. As we continue to walk this life, we learn new things with each step that we take. I believe it's not the end of the world when you fall, but a beginning of something better because we have learned something new to add value into our lives.

I have finally came back to Melbourne, a place where I can call my second home because I have a family here. It's great to be back with Christ. Friday night, I went to care group and even though there weren't many people attending due to final exam week, those that were able to attend were so excited and happy to see me. Today, I went to church and same occurrence happened. Everyone was so excited to see me. This feeling of comfort and joy is everlasting. It's unfortunate that Kevonnie is departing from the church because she has finished her semester of exchange here in Melbourne. She is a super awesome person. She is super confident, funny, nice, talkative, smart, and always put a joy on your face. Have a tendency to speak before she thinks though that makes her genuinely a great person that speaks her mind. We had a farewell party with her after sermon and everyone that attended had nothing but great things to say about Kevonnie. Although the farewell party was for Kevonnie, I also felt a sense of joy in my heart too. Most of the church consist of university students and probably age ranging from 18-40, but they're all have such big hearts. For the longest time back at home, I just believe this world is cruel and dark. Everyone fends for themselves; survival of the fittest. But here we are, bringing back all the memories of those that were created with Kevonnie. We hold those that are dear to us in our minds and it continues to live on regardless of the duration of the event. Humans are weird, huh? You see people killing people on the news everyday; one mass shooting per day in the US. Then you see a one big family in a small city where everyone genuinely cares about each other, supporting each other, praying, embracing, encouraging, helping, and loving each other regardless of appearance, background, beliefs, ideas, nationality, or anything. God has the power to bring us all together.

When things weren't going well and everything seemed to just step on me, I was starting to feel home sick and really wanted to go home. Home is where we have a supporting environment and where we can feel safe. But who would have known that the place I return to turned out to be Melbourne... I was going to leave Australia, but the home that God brought me back to was here. I'd be lying if I say I pray everyday. I pray when I remember and not just pray for my well-being and desires, but to thank Lord for his blessing that I am alive and well. I thank Him that although I have been going through a lot, I still have friends and families by my side that are willing to support me and gives me courage and hope to keep my head up and continue my path. Haha, I feel like hardcore Christian talking about God this Jesus that, but I really am not. I believe they're really guiding me. As long as you do your part, leave it into His hand and He will make the right decision for you because He knows you more than you know about yourself.

I have another good news! Due to the car rental company not replying to my emails and calls to attempt to get supporting documents for my travel insurance claim, I have filed a dispute with my credit card company to challenge the AU$6,200 that they have charged me for damage recovery. Just Thursday night, Marco asked me if there were any follow ups because it has been two weeks. I checked Wednesday but there were nothing. I checked again and BAM! The car rental company has decided to refund me ~AU$4,200. I don't know if it was because the travel insurance company and the credit card company are targeting them making them scared, but I'm glad that I was refunded at least some amount. AU$2,000 is still a lot of money, but I honestly did caused some damages to the car. I'm really glad that things are working out for me now... I'm back in Melbourne with those that I love. I'm with my church family. I received some money back so I can be more flexible instead of being super stingy with my spending. Although I cannot find any jobs, I want to spend a little bit more time in Melbourne before I really head back home. I can't bare the thoughts of leaving this place..... Although there are pain in my heart.

I rather not know for the rest of my life so nothing will ever happen than to know and know that it can never happen...

I've been trying to convince myself that due to all these things happening and I basically cross the line of losing someone's trust, I am not suitable nor ready to have a significant other. I want to believe that if I continue to improve myself as a person overall, the right one will appear naturally. But... I see her everyday and my heart would start to ache that I can never be with her besides being a very good friend. What is it that we seek? Is friendship not enough? Why do we need to fall in love? Today was a wonderful day. Everything was going great and I was really happy to be able to spend Sabbath Day with those who cares. Adrian, Marco, and I even went out for dinner and ice-cream. Everything was going great until I started noticing all the love that exist on the streets. People embracing. People holding hands. People kissing. It got into my head again. The questionnaire of "Why" drenched my mind. Once again, I used League of Legends to escape from the world of reality into a land of empty thoughts. Focus on my game play so I don't have to think.

There's More to Learn in Life

This trip around Australia has nothing less of what I really need in life. An adventure, an experience, a lesson, a hope, a chance... To develop and become a better person. I mean, that's what I told my friends that is what I wanted to gain out of this trip -- to become a better person.

I lost track of my goal and continued to live life how I used to live it, careless and irresponsible. I thought I was a happy go lucky mature individual, but I guess that I haven't really grew up at all. I'm still stuck at my immature stage and pretend everything is okay and great. Selfish and lazy.

This trip back to Melbourne, I thought I fell in love and was heart broken. I think like a typical "nice guy" because I'm one of them. I thought I was a nice guy but they don't see that and just go for bad guys because they're more exciting. But in reality, I'm not who I thought I am and definitely not as genuine as I thought I would be. I have been so careless that I lost the trust of someone that was very dear to me. At the time of what I thought was despair, I reckless as to saying ridiculous things that does not even matter. Actions speak louder than words. Henry, you can't fix things by just saying stupid things. Slowly patch it up with your actions and regain the person's trust.

Decisiveness. It has been one thing that I have been trying to tackle for a really long time. Libra is known to be indecisiveness, but I believe that if we have the will for change, we can overpower silly fortune telling and be what we want to be. I mean, I've went from taking half a year to decide on which phone to buy to taking 2 months to quit my job and coming to Australia.

Every day is a lesson and every chance is an opportunity for growth and development. It's never too late to learn and this trip has done nothing but teach me more of what I need to be. The earlier I learn, the faster I grow. I've been sheltered for far too long. Everything was given to me so I didn't have to learn about these life skills. My whole trip had a purpose. He listened and brought me here. Thank you.

有恁快走恁快。。。

Dude, he's crazy!

Sometimes, I feel bad for living at his place. He doesn't charge me any money for living there and he usually won't let me pay for groceries unless I go and buy my own thing. He lets me cook once in a while, but he said he rather cook himself because he wants to get better at cooking. So I was like whatever, he's a friend and he's okay with me doing that, so I'll let him come to my place if he ever comes to Massachusetts. Mind that he's probably in his 50s I think... Or that's what he looked like.

One night, he prepared dinner. He called me out to eat and told me that the rice has gone cold, so I better hurry and eat it. I tasted it and it was cold. But rice don't get cold 2 minutes out of the rice cooker.
Me: "Did you scoop it out of the rice cooker for a long time?"
Him: "No, I just scooped it out and put the food on top of the rice."
Me: "Okay. Just to let you know, you don't have to unplug the rice cooker immediately once the rice finish cooking. The cooker will keep the rice warm for a very long period of time as long as you keep it plugged in. The rice won't overcook."
Him: "No! I didn't take the rice out for a long time! I just scooped it out and put the food on top! I don't think you appreciate my cooking, is that it?!?!!? I'm trying my best to cook and you just complain!"
Me: o______________o "I never said I don't appreciate your cooking. I always thanked you for cooking."
Him: "Now you want to start an argument with me??? You don't have to eat it if you don't appreciate it!"
Me: .____________.

Yesterday, when I was about to leave the house.
Me: "Hey, I'm going to head out to the library."
Him: "Okay. Do you want to use the front door?"
Me: "No, it doesn't matter. I'll use the side door since my shoes are here already."
Him: "Here, let me open the front door for you. Use the front door."
Me: "Nawww, it's fine. I'll use the side door since it's already opened and unlocked."
Him: "Are you trying to start an argument with me?!?!?? I don't think you appreciate living here!"
Me: o_________________________________o *dude wtf*
Him: "You know, I'm just being nice and letting you stay here! You don't appreciate living here, huh?!?!?? You can leave anytime!"
Me: .____________. "No, I don't not appreciate living here. I just don't think it's such a big deal where I get out of the house from... Fine, I'll use the front door. Sorry."
Him: "Now you're getting me all worked up! It's a courtesy thing to have my guest go out from the front door!"
Me: *dude calm the fuck down. It's no big deal*

Because of these, I started to feel uncomfortable. Not only that. The other day, we were talking about Christianity and I brought up how Christianity is against gay people and I don't agree that gay people are bad. I have plenty of gay friends and they're genuinely good people. He then revealed to me that he's gay and told me about his experience and sex life with girls and guys and I'm like........ o.......k............. I was totally fine with it, whatever. The first day I reached Perth and came to his house, he mentioned that his bathroom wall paints are chipping and ripping off because of too much moisture since the exhaust fan doesn't really do anything. His solution was to keep the bathroom door a little bit opened so the steam would dissapate so it won't cause the paint to chip even more. I ignored that because I like my privacy when I'm taking a shower. Even in high school gym class, I didn't feel comfortable with open showers where everyone just showered together. One night, I was taking a shower and he didn't even knock. He opened the door a bit and told me that he wants the door opened up a little so the steam won't ruin the paint. I was like dude, wtf o_____o At least knock....

I told Marco about all this and he told me to book a ticket and leave as fast as possible.
To be honest, I think he's a nice guy. But it got to the point of awkwardness that I don't even feel comfortable saying anything back to him fearing that I'd offend him. He likes talking and in a conversation, I like to be giving replies to give a sense of I'm paying attention. I don't like having no input or anything to say back to him. But it has gotten to that point of no return. I was waiting for Rafael to get back to me if I could get a job at Gensuke back in Melbourne, but I booked a flight that very night to get back to Perth. I don't think I feel comfortable staying here with him anymore. The flight was a bit expensive, but I calculated it and it'd be more expensive if I lived in a hostel for four more days to catch a cheaper flight. So here I am at the airport waiting for my flight back to Melbourne. No job. No money. No honey. T^T But that's okay. I wanted to go back before I depart anyways. Melbourne is where I've created a lot of memories and friends that I truly hold dear to me for my lifetime.

100 Years vs. 26 Years

I've been neglecting my blog! Haha... Been too lazy to put in some updates. I've been running into some misfortunes lately and after a whole month, I've finally found my answer.

My last update was I shrekt'd a car and had to pay AU$6200. My friend Louie had a friend 3hrs from Perth that was working in a farm and said that she can get me in. When I purchased my flight to Perth and on my way to Adelaide, she told me that day 6 Europeans quit and her boss got REALLY angry so they don't want to hire anymore Westerners (Americans, Europeans). So here I am, spent AU$420 to get to Perth with nothing. Luckily, I called up my old friend John that I met at Adelaide and he provided me a place to stay while I continue to plan out what to do next.

I spent the next few weeks miserably applying to jobs and playing TPPC with Marco. I got denied from McDonald's and Coles Supermarket and I started to wonder... My parents spent so much money so I can get a university degree and have a good paying job. But here I am getting denied from basic jobs. Does that make me a failure? I went back to reading one of my e-book which I really stand by called The Power of Self-Confidence. People aren't failure. We think we're a failure because failing seemed to hit us harder than we're being successful and plowing through it. Instead of thinking what have we failed today, try writing down the things that we have accomplished today. To build confidence, you have to keep reminding yourself that you're different in your own way and you succeed differently than other people.

Marco has also been really great to me. Not that he has done much, but it's the things that he's saying. Something along the lines of "You may live to 100 years old. But if you lived 100 years of misery, you can't really say you have lived. You may have lived 26 years of being happy and if you die, you'll know you've lived." Also in the book The Power of Self-Confidence, it mentioned a scenario. A little girl discovered that she has a talent for painting and arts. Her parents tell her to stop kidding herself, she's meant to grow up and take over the family farm business. So she puts her dream aside and focus on what her parents told her. She grows up, continues the farm business, and gotten to her 70s and decided to retire. When she retired, she decided to go to an art shop and ask the sales what she needs for painting. She purchased everything she needed and started to paint. A few years later, her painting got into museums and galleries. Her paintings are naturally so good that one piece sold for $100,000. Because she had natural talent, she could have became one of the most successful artist in her lifetime if she had continued to follow her own dreams.

Today, I have finally came to my senses. For the past month since I got into that incident with the car rental, as far as I try to pretend that I'm still laid back and chill, I can't deny that I have been pretty miserable. All I can think of was to find a job and make that money back so I don't go home empty handed. If I can't find a job by the end of May, I'm just going to give up everything and go back home to start over new. But today, I had a different feeling. I may live 100 years but if I lived my 100 years in misery, then I haven't really lived. I'm going to stop looking for jobs. I'm going to look through my bank accounts and see how much money I have left to spend. I'm going to do some budgeting and go travel all around Southeast Asia for the next two months before heading back to Boston. For the longest time, I wanted to avoid Southeast Asia because you hear all these scary stories about wars, crimes, drugs, kidnaps, people getting into trouble, and getting stuck in some foreign country and cannot go home. Southeast Asia sounds like it's all third world countries and I'll be killed or have all my organs stolen and sold the moment I hop off the plane. But then again, I've met so many people from this trip that has went all over Southeast Asia before coming to Australia. When I mention I'm from the US, the first thing that comes to people's mind is guns and Donald Trump. They see America as a dangerous place because there's mass shooting everyday. That's what they see in the news and that's what they know. Same with Southeast Asia.

I don't know... Is it safe to travel to those places on my own? Regardless, I'm going to start planning and once I get my charger back, I'm going to give it a go. I cannot improve myself unless I keep breaking the barriers. I always chase for personal growth and improvement. I want to be a better human being. I've been protected all my life. I follow what my mom tells me to do and I believe what she say is the correct way to live life because she's more knowledgeable than me. But it's not. Her mentality is to settle down and have a normal life with a good paying job and a family with some family vacations from time to time.

Last night, I felt like this is my second chance prime time to really develop myself. My trip to Hong Kong/Shanghai back in 2012 was my first and last chance to be travelling with a big group of university students. Instead of cutting the string loose and go wild, I decided to be loyal to my then girlfriend. I held back. I didn't go to bars or clubs. I didn't really hang out with friends. I didn't get drunk. I didn't try new things (I even declined trying shisha when I went out with friends... wtf?) I'd come back after work and Skype with her. I feel like this is my last chance because once you hit 30, it's like... Reality hits you in the face and you gotta have a stable job and stuff so you can enjoy retirement. Before 30 is when you get out, see new things, do new things, experience new things, develop yourself, shape your life.

At the end of the day, it's my life and it's my future. I've been trying to break this barrier little by little. University > Summer Internship Abroad > Australia. Every time, I change myself for the better. I need to keep this rolling. Who knows. I might get myself in trouble mid way, but I can say I really lived my life the way I want to live it.

I will update once I get stuff sorted out. If a job opportunity comes up from Australia in the meantime, I'll stay for a little bit longer. If not, it's time to spread my wings and fly.

Cracked Metal Egg

I'm just a cracked metal egg. I try to appear to be a strong person, but I'm actually really weak...

These few days, I've been applying to jobs endlessly. I disregard the locations and what kind of jobs. As long as the job does not require special certification, I apply. I'm so tired of typing cover letters, but I'm still going and I'm still hunting. I know that if I do my part and put in effort, I will get something.

My friend has actually been blaming herself for what happened because she felt that she should not have dragged me to Central Australia. I reassured her that it was my decision and I didn't want to drag her down, that's why I told her she doesn't have to pay for the damage fee. She still felt bad and since she has a lot of connections in Alice Springs, she has been asking around for people to help me, including speaking with the YHA manager to see if he can get me a volunteer for accommodation position so I can save some money while I look for jobs. I asked Roger the manager if the position opened back up because they posted signs everywhere. He said he'll have to ask the housekeeping girls if they wanted to do it too and told me to come back tomorrow. My friend inquired me and I said Roger told me to ask him tomorrow. She asked if I told him my situation because it would be a different case!

I grew up with no one I can rely on. I learned to rely on myself. My parents leave for work before I wake up for school and they come home from work when I've already went to sleep. I don't trust them with my feelings and I would always just keep it in myself. As the only sibling in my family, I do things my way and deal with problems myself. That's how I felt all this time. My whole life, I dislike asking people to help me on anything, whether it be personally or career wise. I don't like asking for help. I don't like asking for referrals. I feel like it's too bothersome and people have their own things going on in their life. It's only extreme cases where I will ask for help, such as asking Unkei to look after my family because that's the only option I have. I don't want people to pity me. I don't want people to feel bad for me.  I dip my own feet into the crocodile den. It's my responsibility to fix it.

Louie finally cracked my shell. She said I need to stop being so stupid and acting tough. I'm not strong. I'm actually really weak. There's nothing wrong asking for help because everyone in this world needs an extra hand sometime. To me, I fell down and I need to pick myself back up. To her, it's okay to ask for an extra hand to get back up. Friends are out there for support. True friends will always have your back. I'm not strong enough to ask for help. In reality, I have so many friends on standby ready to help me if I ever need a hand.

"Ask for help not because you are weak, but because you want to remain strong." - Les Brown

No Matter How Hard or Deep You Fall...

We always think that when we fail, it's like the end of the world. We weigh failures so much heavier than success because we cruise through success but don't know how to deal with failure...

Did I make a poor choice? Why does when I fail, a lot of things seem to hit my face into the brick wall all at once?

My time here in Northern Territory hasn't been all that great... And my time here hasn't been great memories so far. The only jobs that I can get here are retails or fast food restaurants; which I don't really want to take because I came to Australia to learn new things, not repeat what I've done.

So my friend and I ended up booking a car to go to a road trip around Central Australia. Last year, she has already went on a tour group of all the places that we've planned to go, but she wanted to see some more things that she didn't get to do last time such as taking a picture with the Alice Springs town sign or climbing Uluru and many other things. This trip was kind of stressful on me because she is a very slow person that takes her time with everything. I wasted a lot of time just waiting for her to get ready to start the day. Not only that, but I'd find myself waiting for her where ever I go. She's also a big mess too, so I always find myself cleaning after her. I was pretty satisfied about getting to visit Uluru, Kata Tjuta, and Kings Canyon. She wasn't satisfied because she has already done all of these things. I told it's not because I didn't want to go to those extra places, but it's because we don't have time... On top of that, we really wanted to go to Uluru - Field of Lights which is a new thing where they setup lights all around Uluru for the year, but the event was cancelled two nights in a row due to the rain.

So anyways, we left for the trip on Sunday and planning on heading back on Wednesday afternoon. Two days earlier, Uluru area had a HUGE raining storm; 120 meters of rain (360ft) which resulted in road closure around that area. Central Australia gets rain three times a year... Lucky me to be there when it decides to rain. The stormed moved on to Alice Springs by the day we head out for the trip. When picking up the car, it didn't even phase me that I might encounter trouble due to the rain so I didn't purchase full premium insurance. I thought I was going to be okay, which was weird because every time I rented a car in Melbourne, I'd buy full insurance. On our way out, it was pouring baddd. It wasn't until we reached the intersection to get to Uluru when it started getting better. Throughout the trip, we had really nice weather actually; the perfect weather for hiking.

Then it went downhill from here on out. I had fun at Kings Canyon and I met a French guy named Raynold while hiking and he has been all over the place, studying abroad at Ohio too. We departed at the finish line and we went out way wishing each other good luck. I filled up my tank and continue on my way. Google Maps showed me the shortest route back to Alice Springs which turned out to be the back road with unpaved roads and it was just all gravel. It is highly recommended that we only go on this road if we have a 4-wheel drive. Our rental car was a front-wheel drive. By this time, I was already way over the 500km limit that I was given for the car rental. We have already spent a lot of gas. So I took my chances and tried to get back home via the back road. I was still hesitant about it because I had a feeling that I might cause some damage to the car but I went with my guts after an hour into the gravel road. Worse decision ever. On our way back, we encountered a HUGE puddle of water left from the rain storm a few days back. I tried to drive around the side so I can avoid the puddle because I didn't know how deep it was. People say there were puddles 2 meters deep which was why roads were closed. While driving around the side, the car decided to get stuck because the mud on the side of the road was super soft and the wheels could not get any grip. Our car got stuck and I started to panic. I went out and told Louie to put the car on reverse and I'll try to push the car from the outside, but it didn't work. We found a car not so far from ours that was jacked, completely broken into, and robbed of all the seats, stereo, wheels, backup tires, everything... We took the bumper off to try to use that to dig ourselves out. It also didn't work. This was located on the back roads, there's no street lights, there's no phone signal even for Telstra, there's nothing except trees and sand, and it was 6:30PM almost getting to sunset. No one drives here from darn to dusk because it's super dangerous; that's when the animals come out which will wreck your car if you hit them. We tried to call 000 and 112 because you know, emergency numbers are supposed to work during your worse case scenario, but we couldn't even call those numbers without signal. The only option for us is to wait. Wait until people drive by to see if they can help pull us out. We put on the hazard lights, but the car battery decided to die after a few hours. Two people drove by before the sun set, but they couldn't help us because they didn't have the equipment. We told them to send help once they get to the next town. I started to feel hopeless and scared and then I started to realize. All my life, I've been protected by my mom and everything was good for me. In situations like these, I am completely clueless on how to deal with it. I just get scared, frustrated, and upset. I started to worry if I was just going to die here; either get eaten by an animal, someone comes over and tries to loot us, or something. We tried to get past the night by sleeping it off, but my body was so alert because I was scared that if I fall asleep, something bad will happen especially with no hazard lights on.

It wasn't until 7:30AM when I saw a car drive by. I immediately got out of the car and that person saw me, so he drove back to see if I needed any help. He turned out to be going home from his work. He worked at a gas station and just so happen that he had a radio to contact his office to send help. He didn't have the tools, but he said he called and sent someone down with tools in 30 minutes. God really answered by prayers. I knew He was testing my patience and I know he's going to help me. If it wasn't for this person, we'd still be stuck there. 40 minutes later, another car came by with the tools to pull our car out. He was super nice and even offered us two bottles of water just in case. He pulled us out and told us not to avoid the puddles. By this time, the puddles should be died up a bit and it should be pretty shallow. We are safer to drive in the middle of the road where there's elevation and gravel with rocks so the tires would have a grip. He made sure we were all okay before he let us go. He didn't even charge us for coming all the way out to help us. We finally reached the next town by noon, rested, and got back to Alice Springs by 3PM. We went to the YHA and asked for a water hose and vacuum cleaner to clean up the car so it wouldn't be so obvious that we were on the off roads.

The next morning, we returned the car and indicated that we had some damage to the front of the car, but nothing major. We paid for the extra km and left the shop. Half an hour later, Thrifty called and told us that we need to go back to the shop because they found damages that we need to discuss. We went back and turned out from what they say, the car is heavily damaged to the fact that it is not safe to be on the road and they can no longer rent it out. At first before I returned the car, I thought okay, maybe the damage would cost be a few hundred dollars which I don't mind paying. The manager came out with a very frustrated mood and told us we need to pay for the full recovery damage fee which was AU$6200... There are heavy scratches on the bottom of the front bumper. The chassis is heavily damaged due to me hitting a few creek cracks. The chassis is tilted to the side due to the damage. "The car can no longer be rented out or driven. You were just lucky to be able to make it back to Alice Springs safely." They said there's no way I can argue because the pictures of the car shows that it's heavily damaged and I must pay for the cost. I had no choice but to pay it. I didn't even have enough money in my Australian account to be paying that amount of money, so I just put it on my Capital One credit card. They said that they will have someone come and evaluate the car and if there's some possibilities, we will be refunded a small amount of it is fixable. But I have an idea that they'd rather keep all the money.

We left the shop and I did not know what to feel. I had a blank face and I just continued to walk back to the hostel. I can tell that Louie was heavily frustrated by the look of her face even though I told her that I will be responsible for the full amount. I already convinced myself that it was meant to happen and we cannot control it because it's that one time I decided not to buy insurance. We just have to accept it and move on because worrying about it won't change anything. It didn't hit me until later into the night when I realized $6200 is A LOT of money... I started blaming myself that I rather save $100 on the premium insurance than to avoid the $6200 fee. I was going to treat my parents to a trip to Australia before my visa expires. I was going to drive to Darwin and travel a bit more before looking for another job. Everything seems to be happening too fast and everything seems to be going downhill so fast. I also lost Louie; we stopped talking to each other because I've been really annoying to her about her had habits. I fell in love with someone that only loved me back as like a brother... I burst out in tears in the bathroom because I couldn't hold it in anymore. Too much stress all at once and I didn't know what to do or what I'm doing.

We can't always win. There are times when we have to face the unfortunate events. It is important to fall and hit rock bottom but be able to pick yourself back up and keep on going.

My mom like to say that just pretend you paid tuition to learn something new. In this case, I've learned that it's not a wise idea to rent a car without insurance and it's not wise to travel on the off roads. But I still couldn't accept the fact that I just lost $6200 just like that. I tried to check my travel insurance, but they don't cover car rental, which is dumb because I paid US$1000 for that junk. Last night, I decided to cut my travels short. I cancelled the relocation car to Darwin regardless even if I'm losing out on my $100 booking fee. I started looking into jobs anywhere in Australia just so I can earn some money back before my visa expires.

Satie said that I might be able to get a job with Gensuke, the restaurant that she works for, but I don't know... I kind of don't want to go back to Melbourne. I have already said goodbye to everyone and I told them that I won't be back until August before I leave for home. Plus, there's nothing waiting for back in Melbourne. She doesn't love me the way I fell for her. I do have my family there, but I believe I will see them before I leave Australia.

Louie on the other hand, she's actually a wonderful friend. I love how she seems to always be positive about everything and she'd just laugh everything off. It's just that her habits are different than mine. I tend to blame others when things don't work out the way that I wanted. But I really just need to stop and think about all the things that others have assisted me on this journey through Australia. I believe every one of them are wonderful people in their own way and I hope that I can continue to be with them, in our hearts and memories.

I will keep telling myself that I can pick myself back up. I need to be strong. These unfortunate events are only lessons that keeps me growing. I don't fail enough to be the strong person that I want to be. I will make it on my own and I won't disappoint my parents, friends, family, peers. This is an experience to be learned and grow from.

New Journey!

It's always hard to say goodbye. 29th of August 2015, I reached Australia with no friends, no plans, no destination, and just holding a goal of self improvement. I've travelled all around southern Australia from Sydney, to Perth, to Adelaide, to Tasmania, and eventually falling in love with Melbourne! Not once did I expect to meet so many friends, create so many wonderful memories, do so many things, and even found God. Before I depart onto my journey, I had a rush of overwhelming joy and happiness... My co-workers gave me a farewell party. My church friends gave me a farewell hangout. My care group gave me a farewell dinner. My friends came together to bid me farewell with a hot pot night. I truly treasure every moment that has been spent here in Melbourne and it has been extremely memorable.

After I say goodbye to all of my friends, it was time I head off and continue my journey through Australia~ I have been in Melbourne for seven months and although I am in love with Melbourne, I don't know what hold in my future. I want to see the rest of the country before I depart even if I wish to return here someday in the future.

Louie, a friend I met at the hostel, and I planned a trip to take a bus from Melbourne -> Adelaide. We have found a relocation deal online where we relocate a car for Hertz from Adelaide -> Alice Springs for $1/day and we are given 3 days to get the car back to Alice Springs. 16 hour drive wasn't so bad after all! I was originally planning on making pit stops Adelaide -> Coober Pedy -> Uluru -> Alice Springs, but Louie said it's more worth it to stay at Uluru for more than just the night. I ended up miscalculating because we had Tuesday 12PM to Wednesday to Thursday and return car on Friday 12PM. Technically, we had 4 days to drive to Alice Springs. Also, I got exhausted as a solo driver and was running behind schedule, so we decided to just relax and not take it too hard on myself.

Boy what an experience of a trip haha... First day, I picked up the car at 12:36PM but we didn't really head out until 2:30PM. We reached Port Augusta by 8PM, relaxed at McDonald's for 2 hours, brushed our teeth, washed up, and ate. We were going to call it a night, but I was pretty wide awake, so we decided to continue driving and see how far we can get. Worse idea ever! All my friends suggested that I shouldn't drive during dusk to dawn because that's when the animals starts to come out since most animals are nocturnal. The whole way, I was driving 80km when the max was 110km. The way from Port Augusta to my next stop, we saw at least 6 kangaroos standing on the side of the road looking at my car pass by. Two were standing in the middle of the road; luckily I was driving slowly. I also hit a rabbit that jumped out all of a sudden. We ended up in Glendambo before I called it off... Mainly because I was tired and we didn't have enough gas to reach to the next stop haha... Glendambo wasn't even a town. It was a pit stop with little cabins for truck drivers to rest. We ended up parking at the gas station and slept until 7AM when the gas station opens again. It was my first time sleeping in a car overnight at a place that was completely pitch dark. I was so scared there were going to be desert burglars! Everyone was warning me about those scary stuff. >_> But we were fine. We got gas and continued going in the morning until we reached Coober Pedy midday. This town is the world's biggest opal mining town. We finally figured out that we miscalculated our time, so we just took the rest of the day off to look around. Louie already been to all these places when she did her working holiday, so she showed me around. We wanted to save on accommodation by showering at the TAFE school and just sleep in the car again, but we finally decided to get a hostel so I can rest up for driving. We went to Crocodile Harry's Underground Nest and I ended up teaching Louie how to drive that night! Haha... As scary was it was, I think she'll adapt.

We took a shower at the hostel again before heading out! Haha... The opportunity to shower is scarce when you're travelling long distance! The drive was smooth and I tried to rest every 2~3 hours before we reached a pit stop an hour away from Alice Springs. It was a free 24 hour camping site, so we decided to park there for the night because Louie said it might be dangerous to park at Alice Springs overnight. Apparently, Alice Springs has a crime issue where Aboriginal people get violent due to their low employment rate... It was nice to stop there for the night because it was pitch dark out there and for once in my lifetime, I saw the Milky Way~ It's pitch dark where my parents work up in New Hampshire, but I don't see the Milky Way, just stars. It was beautiful... What a journey. We rest up in the car before getting to Alice Springs.

I came here as a vacation. If I like it, I'll find a job here. Louie came here because it was her happy place when she was here for working holiday. She wanted to come back in search of a school opportunity because she no longer wanted to stay in Melbourne. We have been here for 5 days now. How do I feel? I don't know... Alice Springs has a population of 27,000 people. Everything closes around 7PM with exception of Woolworths and Coles. It's a nice quiet town, but it's not what I was seeking for when I left Melbourne. I wanted to experience a countryside life and work at a farm. In Alice Springs, the job opportunities here for me is either McDonald's, restaurants, retail stores, or office life jobs. Louie felt that I was kind of bored of the place and she felt bad that it seemed like I came here just to drive her here, but I reassured her that it was part of my travelling experience. I haven't done much these few days other than just relaxing. I applied to a few jobs in Darwin and places in Queensland. We rented a place for $115/week and we plan on heading out to Uluru after our week is up.

I don't know what lies ahead of me, but I know it will be a bright future! ^_^ Time to get some sleep~

Wild Life

Such an emo post previously! My life is actually been great majority of the time aside from the minor arguments! My time here in Melbourne is almost over, but I have learn a lot during my time here. It's time that I continue my journey through life.

These feel weeks has been pretty overwhelming. I finally got a taste of working seven days straight! It wasn't so bad because our hostel manager finally realized that we are REALLY understaffed and that we were being overloaded so he finally hired three new staffs hahaha... After the seven days, I had two days off, but I ended up getting Sunday off too because I had another plan.

Friday, I got to relax for the day and did nothing. I was waiting for my new phone to come because I completely killed my Moto X. I dropped it twice during Easter camp. Although the phone was still working, it was cracked on basically every corner of the phone. I thought maybe I could finish my trip keeping this phone. I finally dropped it one more time during work when I needed to check the time to write the time on the time sheet. That final drop completely killed the screen to the point that the phone could not register my finger press on the lower half of the phone. Overnight, the screen stopped turning on. I went on the week without a phone and how hopeless I felt. I was looking for new phones and wanted to text Satie to help me check if the store near her work that was closing out if they had any phones on sale, but I couldn't. I wanted to listen to music, but I didn't have a device. I wanted to check out Google Maps to get somewhere, but I couldn't... When we moved to Adrian's place, he only had one fob to share among the three of us. I couldn't even call one of the girls to let them know that I'm home and to come open the door for me. @_@; How reliant are we on our technology? We questioned how people did it the old fashion way. I finally decided on getting the Huawei Nexus 6P, but Australia charges such a high premium due to outside of the US. US sells the phone for US$499. JB Hi-Fi, the Best Buy of Australia, was selling it for AU$947 which converts to US$740. I couldn't bare the fact that I'm paying such a high premium for... anything really. I finally found a highly rated eBay seller selling the phone for AU$755 which converts to about US$590. Yes, it's still more expensive, but if I add in the Massachusetts tax and shipping, it comes out to somewhere around the ballpark. Plus, I really needed a phone. I was going to settle with a cheap AU$300 phone, but the phone does not have the right band to be used in US. Also, I would feel like such a waste of money spending $300 on something that I won't like and it cannot be used outside of Australia. The phone finally arrived on Friday and I was so excited to use it! I love the phone so much. The only downside is that the phone is really heavy and it's even bigger than the Samsung Galaxy Note in terms of phone size (same screen size). I picked up some groceries, ran some errands, and picked up my phone. That night, I went to care group and had a relaxing night.

Saturday, I had the day off from work, so I decided to go to go church! I always enjoy going to church, but I'm always working on Saturdays... After church, I got to catch up with some friends that I've met at Easter camp and say some goodbyes. I also saw Calla, which didn't remember me, but she's someone that I met the last time I went to church and we had a good chat. We ended up going to Crystal's house after church to just relax and chat, but I had to head off early because I signed up to volunteer at the Melbourne Color Run with Eliza! :) The weather was cloudy, dark, and really wanting to rain. I was going to call it off, but I didn't want to disappoint Eliza haha... So I ended up going and had the best time of my life! We volunteered at the Snow zone which was a cannon blowing out bubbles! We got tired of cheering for the runners after an hour an a half, so we ended up ditching the team and seeing if we can run the track before it was over. By the time we got back to the starting line, they were already cleaning up. :( So we ended up going for the concert instead, which was refreshing. I haven't danced my butt off since my clubbing days. I'm really glad that I went and had a lot of fun even though the weather was cold and rainy~ I've never been to a Color Run before because the last time I tried to go, I got into a car accident. This time, Eliza and I volunteered, so we saved $70 each!

Sunday, another day of funnnn~ Hehe. Church friends planned a hot spring trip at Mornington! Satie, Isabel, and I tagged along. We were so distracted all morning that we ended up getting to Mornington by 4PM, so we grabbed lunch before heading off to the hot spring. It was great and relaxing, especially being able to be with friends! But it was a bit crowded which somewhat killed the mood. The one I went in New South Wales was a bit more expensive and I think that's why not many people were there on the day that I was there, but it was a totally different experience and it felt more relaxing with tranquillity and quiet. Either way, it was great to be seeing people and getting out of the house! Haha...

I'm glad I have so many friends in Melbourne and got to experience some new things before heading off. This coming Saturday will be my last day of work. After that, a new journey awaits me. I hope my rest of the trip will be as awesome as my time here in Melbourne!

Disagreements

Am I destine to be single5ever?

Tension has been really high lately between Satie, Isabel, and I... It seems like I am always doing the wrong thing without noticing. Am I not considerate about other people? Or is women really hard to understand?

Saturday, Isabel, Aarati, and I went to Satie's restaurant to try her ramen because they were having a promotion. After eating, Isabel and Aarati decided to go look for bed sheets while I was too full to move so I stayed in my seat. Satie got out of work and rushed me to the bus stop because the bus was arriving in 4 minutes. Without thinking, I got up and ran with her while texting Isabel if she knew how to get to the bus stop. We watched the bus leave and I decided to go back into the shopping center to look for Isabel. When I got back into the shopping center, Isabel started yelling me at for ditching them and leaving them behind. I felt really angry that two girls yelled at me for something that was not entirely my fault. Aarati tried to comfort me, but I didn't talk with either of them for the rest of the night.

Sunday, Satie and I were talking and Saturday night incident somehow came up. We got into a huge argument and she said that if I have anything bothering me, I should just speak up others will understand how I'm feeling and resolve it into of just keeping it in. We got to the point of both of us storming into our rooms. I started praying to God after what I should do... I didn't want our friendship to just mess up like that. I really value our friendship... I finally got an answer after a few minutes of thinking and praying. It's easy for people to blame other people. But we often don't think about maybe we had our part in wrong doing too. I ended up going into Satie's room and apologizing to her saying that I am wrong and I will try to speak up next time when something bothers me.

Tuesday night, we were packing up to move out of our apartment. Satie saw that I was keeping my cactus. She asked, "Are you keeping that?! Just throw it away!" I said Isabel mentioned that she wanted to keep it... Then I said to Satie that she is not considerate about things that aren't hers. The whole night that I was packing, I was asking if she wanted to keep things. She'd just keep replying aggressively saying, "Aishhh, that's not mine!" It got to the point that I just stopped caring and started throwing everything away. I know things aren't hers. In my point of view, I was trying to be considerate to see if she still wanted to keep the items. The toaster is not yours, the bathroom cleaning products are not yours. I ask you if you wanted to keep them because they might come in handy after we move and you said you wanted to keep those things. I accidentally brought up an incident two months ago and she got extremely upset at me.

Wednesday, I honestly forgot that I needed to be at the reception to sign off the lease to the apartment. She was angry at me for two extra days because of that. She did not confront me until tonight because another issue came up.

Today, I booked a bus ticket to Adelaide on the 25th and booked a car from Adelaide to Alice Spring on the 26th with Louie. She wanted to go to Alice Spring for an interview and I wanted to try a road trip to Alice Spring if I can find someone else to split the cost with. Just so happened that we found a car from Hertz that needed relocation and we only have to pay $1/day for the car rental but we have to pick up the car on the 26th. We booked everything before I left the hostel. (For a while, we were planning a trip to the Grampians, but nothing really solidified and no one was really planning much other than "oh, lets go." However, we all took the days off for ANZAC Day for that.) When Isabel and Satie came home, I told them the plan I just made today. They got angry at me. I was inconsiderate to not tell them my plans before booking my bus and car. They feel that I should tell them my plans before booking anything rather than telling them that after the fact. I tried to play it off like, "Okay, I'm wrong. Sorry." because I honestly didn't think I had any fault in that and I didn't feel like arguing but it only made Isabel more angry to the point where she took her dinner back into her room to eat. When Satie came out of the shower, she talked with me about what Isabel felt. She felt like I didn't let her know anything and just went ahead and made my own plans. Yes, I kind of did that because Satie said she didn't want go to Grampians if it's more than a day trip. I didn't want to go to the Grampians if it's just a day trip because 6 hour drive is tiring on top of hiking for the day and I don't think it's enjoyable if it's just a day trip. Then Satie brought up the day of our lease signing. I said, "Okay, I'm sorry. I honestly forgot that I had to be there." She stormed off.

What's going on... Am I really inconsiderate? Is this part of having a relationship between humans? I haven't felt like this ever since I've arrived in Australia. My whole trip, I was a carefree free spirit person just going with the flow. All of a sudden, I make some close friends and now I have all these issues going on. I believe I am a very care free person and not that many things bother me. Even if something bothers me, I usually suck it up and move on because ignorant is bliss. I rather deal with it and not let the other person know than to let them know because humans get offended easily and things only get worse. I have no authority to make them wrong because I don't feel like I am perfect as well. We all do things that we don't mean to hurt or bother others. Afterall, we are humans. We bomb other countries thinking that will solve problems because talking doesn't work. I have apologized more than I have done in the past. The facts are out there and we cannot change it. I don't know what you want me to do.

And that's why I feel like I will never find a partner that will match my personality. Someone who is carefree and free spirited. Someone who doesn't get bothered by minuscule issues; just shrug it off and move on. Someone who is tidy and clean. Someone who enjoy cooking together. Someone like my mother... I finally realized how 伟大 my mother really is. She never once minded how I am and how I turned out to be. She didn't complain about cleaning after me. She didn't get bothered that she needed to bring food up to my room because I'm too lazy to go downstairs. She didn't mind that she needed to pick me up after school because I had to stay after to do work. I read some articles that we are deeply influenced by how our parents raised us up and our ideal partners are something like our parents. Afterall, that's why we love our parents, right?

Life

Different people want different things in life. Some wants fortune, some wants fame, some wants adventure, and others just want to help out the world a little bit at a time. But we all have one ultimate goal in life: to be happy.

Happy: (noun) feeling or showing pleasure or contentment.

We may all take different routes in life, but all of our ultimate goal in life is to achieve happiness. But how do you do that? By doing something that you love to do or achieving what you want to achieve in life. To a person, maybe wealth brings them happiness by having a lot of money in their bank account. A lot of people feel happier with their life when they are well known by a large community. Some people just want to go to third world countries and help out those in need and that will give them fulfilment and joy in life.

For me, I am currently doing what makes me happy. I am traveling in Australia -- learning new knowledge, experiencing different prospectives, developing personal skills, meeting new expectations, sparking up my desires to achieve big things in life, and most of all... I am living the life that makes me happy. To my parents, they might not think this is what life is all about as different people have different views in life. To them, having a house, a family, stable income, and a good retirement is what life is about. I can honestly say, I can live my whole life without a real estate or luxurious possessions and I'd still be happy because I am living my life. Money does not bring happiness. Happiness comes from doing what you love. I was never good at expressing my feelings and emotions through words, but I think my mother is slowing understanding that I am doing what is best for myself. Sometimes, I feel like I am being selfish for leaving my family back at home and leaving Dexter with my parents, but I am certain that this is what I need to do right now.

My mother asked me, "You have been in Australia for eight months now. What have you learned?" Again, I am not good at expressing myself through talking, but I can reassure you that I am a whole new person. It doesn't always have to be technical skills and knowledge that I have to learn. This trip has helped me develop my (inter)personal skills. Back at home, I felt like I was losing my mind. I'd come home from work, play video games, take Dexter out for a walk, sleep, repeat. Work was the same thing everyday. Life was the same thing everyday. I was not learning. I was not developing. I was constantly reminded that I should do more with my life. My work was a low paying job and I need to find something better. I was surrounded by peers that were constantly judging and comparing between each other. I can say this trip was an escape from that. Ever since I've arrived to Australia, I have received nothing but positive feedback. I was constantly reminded that I am really brave for traveling on my own. I am really intelligent for working out such complex planning on traveling with other people. My cooking is delicious. Talking to me made their day. I am very friendly and constantly have a smile on my face even after a long hard day. I can achieve more than what I expect in myself. The people I come across, the friends I meet, and the colleagues I work with, all has build my self-confidence. At home, I was in the dirt. I had no confidence in myself and I didn't believe that I can achieve anything greater than what I had. I beat around the bush hoping that something might come to me. I was too shy to go to company events and holiday parties. I didn't have any motivation for self-development. Long story short, it was bad. But after the last eight months, I have gained what I was seeking for this whole time. I believe that I can achieve what I set my mind to and go beyond what I think I am capable of doing. In the end, even if I fall, I still have two arms and two legs to pick myself up and try again.

So go on, do what makes you happy because that is what living is all about. Do what makes you happy as not as you're not being selfish to others. If you want to travel, go and travel on your own budget. If you want to volunteer at a third world country, then go help the little children. If you love playing video games, make a career out of it by making YouTube videos or streaming to support yourself. If you want to study psychology, double major in something else that can act as a support for your interest just in case one does not get you a stable income. If you want to spend your days smoking weed, then get a job at your local McDonald's and earn money for your weed. Life is an endless opportunity. Don't let the noises in your life affect how you live because at the end of the day, the life is yours and no others. Don't let other people navigate your life. Do what you love and you won't regret a single day.

How The Tables Have Turned... Testimony

I have opened the doors to my heart and let Jesus into my life.

Four years ago, if you asked me what I think of Christianity, I would say religion is all rubbish. Never in my life time would I ever believe in those foolish things. Science has the ability to prove and disprove all kinds of things in this world so why should I ever rely on religious explanations? Religion is just another business scheme and one hell of a good one because it has convinced so many followers and one that raked in major amount of money from being a religious non-profit organization. Everything religious was just junk to me and not a chance would I fall for that. I wasn't negatively against religion, but I felt that it was not necessary in my life and it was not something that I would ever believe in.

Summer of 2013, Isabel asked me if I was interested in attending church. Back then, Isabel was more like an acquaintance. She was Eva's friend and we barely went out together. In fact, I don't think we have seen each other since graduation in 2012. Isabel was a devoted Christian and has been baptized. Many of her friends moved away from Boston area around that time, so she wanted to find some new friends to attend church with on Sundays. I thought, why not? She's pretty cute and it can be an excuse to hang out with her more often and get to know her!

We went to a church in Cambridge for the first time; some random church that she found. My thoughts? It was alright. I vaguely remember that the speaker talked about God's blessing to us and that we should treat each other with respect and gracefulness. I thought the message was very good but it didn't get to me. We left church after the worship was over for lunch. She decided to introduce me to another church that occurs in Chinatown instead. They meet every Sunday, it was more targeted towards the Asian community, and there were more people of our age.

I started attending the Boston Chinese Evangelical Church every Sunday, even on days that Isabel could not make it. I really enjoyed learning that messages of God in terms of looking at life's problem in another prospective. While you're stressed or upset or angry, there are different ways of dealing with the issue. Going to church gave me comfort. It made me feel peaceful and calm. But it still didn't get to me. I was attending every Sunday morning, but that was about it. It was quite a big church and even though people were nice to me, I didn't really meet any new friends. They all seemed to already have their own group of friends and I usually leave after the morning worship. I keep His message in mind, but it didn't really do much.

September 2013, while driving to a 5k run with Susanna and Baldwin, we got into a car accident. My car was totalled and cannot be repaired. Luckily, Susanna, Baldwin, and I were all safe. At that moment, I truly believed that God was watching over us and that he had more plans for us (I think that went through my head because I was attending church at that time). I prayed to Him that night thanking Him that we are all alive and safe. But that was about it. I didn't have a car for a month, I got lazy, and I stopped going to church. I eventually bought a bible, but it ended up in a drawer collecting dust. That was the end of that.

2015. Over the years, I'd pray about random stuff that were insignificant and lane. But then I was unhappy with my life, my job, and wanted change, but I didn't know what to do. I started praying to God asking Him to show me what I should do. Isabel turned up to have a client in Providence for a week, so she decided to stay at my house for the week since I live closer to Providence. While being at my house, I explained to her about my situation and that I am unhappy about my job and a lot of other things but didn't know what to do. She told me that I should look into this thing called a Working Holiday Visa. It's a visa that lets me go to another country, travel, and work without having to have a company sponsor me a working visa. I was still doubtful about leaving home and leaving Dexter. Within two months, I made up my mind, quit my job, and went for it. At first, I wanted to go to New Zealand, but things didn't work out so I ended up spending the year in Australia.

Things went smoothly for me and I met a lot of new friends and experience a lot of new things in Australia. When I chose to settle down in Melbourne due to my love for the city, I didn't know what to expect in Melbourne. I found a job in December 2015 and had to move out of Melbourne Metro YHA. I moved into an apartment where I met Nina and Josh, both of which attends a "care group" -- a Christian bible study group that meets every Friday night to dine together, study the words of God, an to learn more about Christianity. Nina asked if I would be interested in joining. I gladly accepted the offer thinking it's another good chance to just meet new people! After all, I made a goal to boost my confidence and talk with people instead beating around the bush bring shy.

I started to attend the care group every Friday night, even on days when Josh could not attend (Nina has already left for Sydney/Tasmania for a job opportunity). Although I was reluctant to go on some Fridays, I pushed myself to go. The care group have some of the nicest people that I have ever met. As I continue to attend the group, I gradually felt that they gave me a sense of being a part of the family. Especially Kay and Nat -- they really made me felt like being part of a close knitted family and I am welcome to attend whenever I am available. I didn't get to attend church that often which took place on Saturdays due to work at the hostel. The group is part of Seventh-Day Adventist Church. They worship on Saturday because Saturday is the seventh day of the week for them. From sunset of Friday to sunset of Saturday, they restrain from doing any work and the time is supposed to be spent with friends and God. Worship Him and go on nature walks; enjoy and take in the beauty of His creation. I really felt that I was part of a family, but I haven't felt anything for God or Jesus. I was more just there to be with the people than to be part of a religious thing.

Easter was around the corner. Nat told me about a camping trip that is occurring over Easter weekend with the church and he recommended that I should attend. He said it'd be fun and there's going to be a lot of people there; over a hundred! At first, I was very hesitant about going. Even with early registration, it was $150! That can last me a whole week worth of food! I was about to back out, but something made me felt that I should just go and enjoy it because the people in my care group was going to be here and I wanted to take that opportunity to get to know them better. Plus, I have never tried camping before, so it would be a great opportunity to experience camping. Also, there's going to be A LOT of people which means a great chance to meet more new people!!

I registered early and took Friday, Saturday, and Sunday off from work, but I was still hesitant... I didn't pay until the last moment when I was for sure that I was going to go! Lol... My housemate was saying that I might regret going because I wasn't religious at all and I might feel out of place. I said I'm just going to have fun and do all the non-religious things. Thursday night, I packed my small backpack and downloaded a Bible app so I can refer to it since they sent out an email listing what to bring, including a bible.

Friday morning, I kind of over slept. I wanted to wake up at 8, be out of my apartment by 9:30 and get to Melbourne University by 10:15. That was the time that the email said we will meet up at, but I showed up at 10:23 and we were waiting for people until 11:30 haha... I got paired up with Adrian's car along with Miriam and Tess, everyone from Olive Trees care group~ The drive was not bad and we got there safely. It's weird that once I leave the city, it's all farm land and empty land haha... In Massachusetts, we can still see houses in the suburbs wayyyy out of the city. We settled down and started doing some warm up mini activities/ice breakers to get to know our individual groups better.

Overall, the camp was filled with really fun activities as well as talks. It can't always be fun and games, you know! I always enjoy informative discussion panels. I don't know why people always think it's boring (Anime Boston, ECCASU, Knowledge Week, etc.). I guess it's because I'm the kind of person that is always seeking for new knowledge, so I enjoy attending discussion panels. I met a lot of new friends and I felt... Different. I was more open. When we did reflections on talks, I actually voluntarily speak in the group as to in the past, I wouldn't speak up unless I am picked on. During bonfire, I sang out loud and had the best time of my life without worrying that other people might judge me. I truly felt that these people accept you for who you are. They're different kind of people. They're the kind of people that loves you for who you are. They won't think you're weird. They won't exclude you from them because they think you're different. A lot of them even approached to talk to me. I felt comfortable greeting other people that I did not know as to regularly, I'd just shift my eyes away like I did not see them.

But the greatest thing about this Easter camp is that it changed me. I truly felt I was touched by the messages sent from God when the speakers were teaching.
"What man of you, having a hundred sheep, if he loses one of them, does not leave the ninety-nine in the wilderness, and go after the one which is lost until he finds it? And when he has found it, he lays it on his shoulders, rejoicing." - Luke 15:4-5
Jesus would never leave you wandering. He celebrates one sinner who repents rather than only caring for the 99 that does not need to repent. "I would never leave you hangin'~" Another thing that hit me was that Jesus loves you no matter what. He has unconditional love for you and he's knocking on your door waiting for you no matter how long it takes.

While reflecting, Miriam mentioned something that I been seeking for for a long long time.
"People say if you don't see God, how do you know that he exist? But can you see wind? Can you see love? They're not something that you can see, but something that you can feel. That is just like God. You will feel His presence and his love. You don't need to see Him to believe in Him."

Slowly but surely, near the end of the camp, I finally felt Him... I started thinking and everything seemed to piece together... Jesus has been looking over me this whole time. Back in 2013, Isabel told me that if I truly believe in Him, I should find a night before going to bed to pray to Jesus. Tell Him that you are ready to let Him into your life and to ask for forgiveness for all of your sins. Tell Him that I will let Him lead my life and I will trust in Him and believe in Him. I did that one night but then totally brushed it off like I didn't do anything. But over the years, He was leading my life. He saved me from the car crash. He heard my prayers. He sent Isabel to me to let me know about Working Holiday visa. He led me to Australia. He led me to Melbourne. He led me to my current apartment to meet Nina and Josh. He led me to Olive Trees care group. He led me to Easter camp. It was all part of his plan to save me and educate me. It was all part of His plan to provide me the opportunity to learn more about Him and welcome Him into my life and to trust Him on his plans. I welcomed Him into my heart once and I want to do it once again. This time, I will genuinely let Him into my life and let Him lead me because I know He knows me better than I do. Jesus Christ, I want to make space in my heart for you.

Calling it Over?

I couldn't sleep, so I decided to pull out my laptop and blog about it.

My parents are taking care of Dexter for me for the past few months while I am away from home. Last month, my mom sent me a WeChat message saying that Dexter was behaving weird. He lost his appetite and seemed to be lack of energy for anything. He'd do his business on his walk and turn around immediately to head back home. At night, he'd start whining when my parents go upstairs to sleep. I got worried, but my mom reassured me that the very next day, he was back to normal and very energetic. A few days ago, my mom told me he randomly vomited in the middle of the day and he hasn't been having appetite for his own food. Dexter has been pretty spoiled with table food, so I kind of just brushed it off and assumed that he'll be fine. Today, I received multiple messages from my mom saying he is still not really eating food. He vomited again in the living room and it took my mom the whole day to clean and to get rid of the smell. For the past two days, he didn't do his #2 on his walk but instead do it over night in the living room.

That has been stressing me out all day. I was not in the mood to go to Mundo Lingo, but I ended up going because I wanted to take my mind off of that for a bit. I keep reminding myself to not stress over something that I cannot control, but Dexter is really important to me. Is it my parent's fault? They're spoiling him to no end. He's getting table food. My mom would let him out on his own to do his business while she goes to take a shower. He'd disappear into the woods for hours before coming back to the house. He's lacking discipline and no one to follow because my parents are so laid back with him. But it's not my parent's fault. It's my fault for leaving him with them. My mom keeps blaming me for leaving the dog with them and I need to come home soon... I feel guilty, but I want to blame my mom for everything that has happened. For moving to Attleboro. For not caring about how I feel about moving. For being too busy about earning money hopefully to give me a better life, but ended up leaving me lost. For not being there when I really needed someone. For telling me how I should live my life. For telling me that I'm wasting my time because I should be spending my youth years earning money. I adopted Dexter because I wanted a companion. Does she know how depressing it was to drive two hours home from work to return to a 1,800 sqft house with just me in it? Attleboro was the worse years of my life.

I don't know how I feel. I don't want to say I made a wrong decision for bringing Dexter home. I would never give him up. But what am I suppose to do? The thoughts kept running through my head...
"This is the perfect time. I'm 26 years old and I am going to take this opportunity to go travel the world, experience new things, obtain new knowledge, do everything that I've ever wanted to do. Live the life that I want to live. I broke free, so don't let my parents restrain me and tell me how to live my life. At the end of the day, it's my life. I should do whatever the fuck I want to do."
I truly want to really take these youth years to just keep discovering myself. I'm not ready to go home yet. But I have this little kid at home waiting for me to go home. After hearing what was going on with Dexter, I seriously thought about flying back home next month. Will I regret cutting my travels short for a dog? Will I regret it if anything were to happen with Dexter and I can't be there for him? I don't know. I really don't know... I know that if I go home now, I won't be doing anymore long term traveling and things will just go back to how it was before; living the boring day to day same old shit life. I also worry that having my parents not knowing how to manage taking care of Dexter will hinder my enjoyment of my travels because I will be worrying about back home. I inquired a friend today about the situation and he recommended that I find a friend that can help me take care of Dexter and preferably someone that is knowledgeable about dogs. But I already feel like a burden to have my parents take care of him. It would make it worse if I ask a friend to help because it's like asking a friend to look after your own kid for 5 months. That's just unreasonable because other people have things going on with their lives to be looking after your dog. It won't be an option but thanks for caring, Justin.

I felt better after Mundo Lingo. I asked if Satie will eat out with me for dinner so I can discuss it with someone, but she had other plans with friends. I ended up going to Coles, bought some meat, and came back to the apartment to make my own dinner. I just hope that the answer will come to me soon. I asked Unkei and Danny to help with the vaccination for Dexter. My mom told me to just send information on what to show the vet over on WeChat so she can show it to them, but honestly... I don't trust leaving my mom with that on her own. The vet will start asking questions and my mom would not know what to do from there. She keeps feeling like a burden on my friends to ask for help, but my friends are really willing to help out whenever they can.

*Yawn*

It was 39°C today, so Pancake Parlour was giving out free milkshake again. I went to the gym and decided I wanted to grab some free milkshake before going to bed. Satie decided to come with me, which is cool because I always enjoy a good talk with her. I finally feel like I've found a best friend here. We were talking about families and I felt something changed in me. I feel like I'm trying to reach deeper philosophically haha... Dreams are just what we want. Dreams are imagination. It's okay to have dreams, as long as we know how to differentiate dreams apart from goals. Goals are what we want to create. Life goals. Things that we know we can put our mind into and possible to achieve. It's very different from dreams because dreams are just desires without plans or progress.

Sometimes, I'm really glad that I had a poor childhood. A single mother trying to raise me while working at a sweatshop making minimum wage and trying to get through hoping that I turn into a successful man. She would beat me when I start crying about not being able to buy the flavoured water because it was too expensive. She would beat me because my teacher sent home notices saying that I wasn't paying attention in class and instead talk to my friend while the teacher was teaching. My mom apologized to me. But it wasn't her fault. Although I have not reached my full potential, you're a great mother, I grew up well, and currently doing what makes me happy. There's not that many things in life that I want. I just want my families, friends, the people around me, and Dexter to be happy and healthy. I have mini goals but I'm sure I will work towards what I would want to achieve ultimately in life slowly and steadily. I am only 26 years old. I have a long road ahead of me. I have a lot of time and there are so many things in life that I have not experienced yet. I want to live my life at my own pace. Don't worry, mother. I will make it and I will make you proud.

So I've been slacking off on blogging hahaha... On top of that, I've been quite busy lately trying to fill my last month here in Melbourne with activities and things to keep me busy. :) Two weekends ago, Satie, her friend, me, and Eliza made a trip to Mornington Peninsula. Boy was it beautiful. I can say it's as good if not, better than Great Ocean Road. At first, forecast said it would be a cloudy day with rain, but the weather turned out better than expected. We had a lot of fun and it was only AU$40 per person for the day trip. Beats going with a tour group!

Work has been not too bad either. Sometimes, I feel under appreciated, but that's just me being salty haha... This week is going to be busy busy busy because we're going to get a yearly inspection to see if we still qualify to be a YHA. Although I read and pretty certain that I cannot meet the requirement to apply for a second year visa back to Australia, I'm going to set mid-April as my last day of work here in Melbourne, take half a month off to travel some more, and the step my foot into Queensland for another new adventure into life. I'll be there from May to the end of August. Once that is done, I am for certain that I will do another year around New Zealand! Then who knows? 2 years in Germany? I had another talk with Satie a few days back too and I came to a conclusion for myself. At the end of the day, it is my life and I should live it the way that I want to live. Do what I want to do because this is the best time to do it! I will probably have more responsibilities once I get to around 30 years old and I won't have the same opportunity as I do now.

I'm really grateful for where I am right now and I am happy for all those I've achieved, even if it's just little things. These little things adds up to big things because not everyone can do what I've done. We humans have different goals and different paths. Walk the path that you want to walk towards and don't regret a single choice in life.