My last update was I shrekt'd a car and had to pay AU$6200. My friend Louie had a friend 3hrs from Perth that was working in a farm and said that she can get me in. When I purchased my flight to Perth and on my way to Adelaide, she told me that day 6 Europeans quit and her boss got REALLY angry so they don't want to hire anymore Westerners (Americans, Europeans). So here I am, spent AU$420 to get to Perth with nothing. Luckily, I called up my old friend John that I met at Adelaide and he provided me a place to stay while I continue to plan out what to do next.
I spent the next few weeks miserably applying to jobs and playing TPPC with Marco. I got denied from McDonald's and Coles Supermarket and I started to wonder... My parents spent so much money so I can get a university degree and have a good paying job. But here I am getting denied from basic jobs. Does that make me a failure? I went back to reading one of my e-book which I really stand by called The Power of Self-Confidence. People aren't failure. We think we're a failure because failing seemed to hit us harder than we're being successful and plowing through it. Instead of thinking what have we failed today, try writing down the things that we have accomplished today. To build confidence, you have to keep reminding yourself that you're different in your own way and you succeed differently than other people.
Marco has also been really great to me. Not that he has done much, but it's the things that he's saying. Something along the lines of "You may live to 100 years old. But if you lived 100 years of misery, you can't really say you have lived. You may have lived 26 years of being happy and if you die, you'll know you've lived." Also in the book The Power of Self-Confidence, it mentioned a scenario. A little girl discovered that she has a talent for painting and arts. Her parents tell her to stop kidding herself, she's meant to grow up and take over the family farm business. So she puts her dream aside and focus on what her parents told her. She grows up, continues the farm business, and gotten to her 70s and decided to retire. When she retired, she decided to go to an art shop and ask the sales what she needs for painting. She purchased everything she needed and started to paint. A few years later, her painting got into museums and galleries. Her paintings are naturally so good that one piece sold for $100,000. Because she had natural talent, she could have became one of the most successful artist in her lifetime if she had continued to follow her own dreams.
Today, I have finally came to my senses. For the past month since I got into that incident with the car rental, as far as I try to pretend that I'm still laid back and chill, I can't deny that I have been pretty miserable. All I can think of was to find a job and make that money back so I don't go home empty handed. If I can't find a job by the end of May, I'm just going to give up everything and go back home to start over new. But today, I had a different feeling. I may live 100 years but if I lived my 100 years in misery, then I haven't really lived. I'm going to stop looking for jobs. I'm going to look through my bank accounts and see how much money I have left to spend. I'm going to do some budgeting and go travel all around Southeast Asia for the next two months before heading back to Boston. For the longest time, I wanted to avoid Southeast Asia because you hear all these scary stories about wars, crimes, drugs, kidnaps, people getting into trouble, and getting stuck in some foreign country and cannot go home. Southeast Asia sounds like it's all third world countries and I'll be killed or have all my organs stolen and sold the moment I hop off the plane. But then again, I've met so many people from this trip that has went all over Southeast Asia before coming to Australia. When I mention I'm from the US, the first thing that comes to people's mind is guns and Donald Trump. They see America as a dangerous place because there's mass shooting everyday. That's what they see in the news and that's what they know. Same with Southeast Asia.
I don't know... Is it safe to travel to those places on my own? Regardless, I'm going to start planning and once I get my charger back, I'm going to give it a go. I cannot improve myself unless I keep breaking the barriers. I always chase for personal growth and improvement. I want to be a better human being. I've been protected all my life. I follow what my mom tells me to do and I believe what she say is the correct way to live life because she's more knowledgeable than me. But it's not. Her mentality is to settle down and have a normal life with a good paying job and a family with some family vacations from time to time.
Last night, I felt like this is my second chance prime time to really develop myself. My trip to Hong Kong/Shanghai back in 2012 was my first and last chance to be travelling with a big group of university students. Instead of cutting the string loose and go wild, I decided to be loyal to my then girlfriend. I held back. I didn't go to bars or clubs. I didn't really hang out with friends. I didn't get drunk. I didn't try new things (I even declined trying shisha when I went out with friends... wtf?) I'd come back after work and Skype with her. I feel like this is my last chance because once you hit 30, it's like... Reality hits you in the face and you gotta have a stable job and stuff so you can enjoy retirement. Before 30 is when you get out, see new things, do new things, experience new things, develop yourself, shape your life.
At the end of the day, it's my life and it's my future. I've been trying to break this barrier little by little. University > Summer Internship Abroad > Australia. Every time, I change myself for the better. I need to keep this rolling. Who knows. I might get myself in trouble mid way, but I can say I really lived my life the way I want to live it.
I will update once I get stuff sorted out. If a job opportunity comes up from Australia in the meantime, I'll stay for a little bit longer. If not, it's time to spread my wings and fly.
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