I have finally came back to Melbourne, a place where I can call my second home because I have a family here. It's great to be back with Christ. Friday night, I went to care group and even though there weren't many people attending due to final exam week, those that were able to attend were so excited and happy to see me. Today, I went to church and same occurrence happened. Everyone was so excited to see me. This feeling of comfort and joy is everlasting. It's unfortunate that Kevonnie is departing from the church because she has finished her semester of exchange here in Melbourne. She is a super awesome person. She is super confident, funny, nice, talkative, smart, and always put a joy on your face. Have a tendency to speak before she thinks though that makes her genuinely a great person that speaks her mind. We had a farewell party with her after sermon and everyone that attended had nothing but great things to say about Kevonnie. Although the farewell party was for Kevonnie, I also felt a sense of joy in my heart too. Most of the church consist of university students and probably age ranging from 18-40, but they're all have such big hearts. For the longest time back at home, I just believe this world is cruel and dark. Everyone fends for themselves; survival of the fittest. But here we are, bringing back all the memories of those that were created with Kevonnie. We hold those that are dear to us in our minds and it continues to live on regardless of the duration of the event. Humans are weird, huh? You see people killing people on the news everyday; one mass shooting per day in the US. Then you see a one big family in a small city where everyone genuinely cares about each other, supporting each other, praying, embracing, encouraging, helping, and loving each other regardless of appearance, background, beliefs, ideas, nationality, or anything. God has the power to bring us all together.
When things weren't going well and everything seemed to just step on me, I was starting to feel home sick and really wanted to go home. Home is where we have a supporting environment and where we can feel safe. But who would have known that the place I return to turned out to be Melbourne... I was going to leave Australia, but the home that God brought me back to was here. I'd be lying if I say I pray everyday. I pray when I remember and not just pray for my well-being and desires, but to thank Lord for his blessing that I am alive and well. I thank Him that although I have been going through a lot, I still have friends and families by my side that are willing to support me and gives me courage and hope to keep my head up and continue my path. Haha, I feel like hardcore Christian talking about God this Jesus that, but I really am not. I believe they're really guiding me. As long as you do your part, leave it into His hand and He will make the right decision for you because He knows you more than you know about yourself.
I have another good news! Due to the car rental company not replying to my emails and calls to attempt to get supporting documents for my travel insurance claim, I have filed a dispute with my credit card company to challenge the AU$6,200 that they have charged me for damage recovery. Just Thursday night, Marco asked me if there were any follow ups because it has been two weeks. I checked Wednesday but there were nothing. I checked again and BAM! The car rental company has decided to refund me ~AU$4,200. I don't know if it was because the travel insurance company and the credit card company are targeting them making them scared, but I'm glad that I was refunded at least some amount. AU$2,000 is still a lot of money, but I honestly did caused some damages to the car. I'm really glad that things are working out for me now... I'm back in Melbourne with those that I love. I'm with my church family. I received some money back so I can be more flexible instead of being super stingy with my spending. Although I cannot find any jobs, I want to spend a little bit more time in Melbourne before I really head back home. I can't bare the thoughts of leaving this place..... Although there are pain in my heart.
I rather not know for the rest of my life so nothing will ever happen than to know and know that it can never happen...
I've been trying to convince myself that due to all these things happening and I basically cross the line of losing someone's trust, I am not suitable nor ready to have a significant other. I want to believe that if I continue to improve myself as a person overall, the right one will appear naturally. But... I see her everyday and my heart would start to ache that I can never be with her besides being a very good friend. What is it that we seek? Is friendship not enough? Why do we need to fall in love? Today was a wonderful day. Everything was going great and I was really happy to be able to spend Sabbath Day with those who cares. Adrian, Marco, and I even went out for dinner and ice-cream. Everything was going great until I started noticing all the love that exist on the streets. People embracing. People holding hands. People kissing. It got into my head again. The questionnaire of "Why" drenched my mind. Once again, I used League of Legends to escape from the world of reality into a land of empty thoughts. Focus on my game play so I don't have to think.
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