Wild Life

Such an emo post previously! My life is actually been great majority of the time aside from the minor arguments! My time here in Melbourne is almost over, but I have learn a lot during my time here. It's time that I continue my journey through life.

These feel weeks has been pretty overwhelming. I finally got a taste of working seven days straight! It wasn't so bad because our hostel manager finally realized that we are REALLY understaffed and that we were being overloaded so he finally hired three new staffs hahaha... After the seven days, I had two days off, but I ended up getting Sunday off too because I had another plan.

Friday, I got to relax for the day and did nothing. I was waiting for my new phone to come because I completely killed my Moto X. I dropped it twice during Easter camp. Although the phone was still working, it was cracked on basically every corner of the phone. I thought maybe I could finish my trip keeping this phone. I finally dropped it one more time during work when I needed to check the time to write the time on the time sheet. That final drop completely killed the screen to the point that the phone could not register my finger press on the lower half of the phone. Overnight, the screen stopped turning on. I went on the week without a phone and how hopeless I felt. I was looking for new phones and wanted to text Satie to help me check if the store near her work that was closing out if they had any phones on sale, but I couldn't. I wanted to listen to music, but I didn't have a device. I wanted to check out Google Maps to get somewhere, but I couldn't... When we moved to Adrian's place, he only had one fob to share among the three of us. I couldn't even call one of the girls to let them know that I'm home and to come open the door for me. @_@; How reliant are we on our technology? We questioned how people did it the old fashion way. I finally decided on getting the Huawei Nexus 6P, but Australia charges such a high premium due to outside of the US. US sells the phone for US$499. JB Hi-Fi, the Best Buy of Australia, was selling it for AU$947 which converts to US$740. I couldn't bare the fact that I'm paying such a high premium for... anything really. I finally found a highly rated eBay seller selling the phone for AU$755 which converts to about US$590. Yes, it's still more expensive, but if I add in the Massachusetts tax and shipping, it comes out to somewhere around the ballpark. Plus, I really needed a phone. I was going to settle with a cheap AU$300 phone, but the phone does not have the right band to be used in US. Also, I would feel like such a waste of money spending $300 on something that I won't like and it cannot be used outside of Australia. The phone finally arrived on Friday and I was so excited to use it! I love the phone so much. The only downside is that the phone is really heavy and it's even bigger than the Samsung Galaxy Note in terms of phone size (same screen size). I picked up some groceries, ran some errands, and picked up my phone. That night, I went to care group and had a relaxing night.

Saturday, I had the day off from work, so I decided to go to go church! I always enjoy going to church, but I'm always working on Saturdays... After church, I got to catch up with some friends that I've met at Easter camp and say some goodbyes. I also saw Calla, which didn't remember me, but she's someone that I met the last time I went to church and we had a good chat. We ended up going to Crystal's house after church to just relax and chat, but I had to head off early because I signed up to volunteer at the Melbourne Color Run with Eliza! :) The weather was cloudy, dark, and really wanting to rain. I was going to call it off, but I didn't want to disappoint Eliza haha... So I ended up going and had the best time of my life! We volunteered at the Snow zone which was a cannon blowing out bubbles! We got tired of cheering for the runners after an hour an a half, so we ended up ditching the team and seeing if we can run the track before it was over. By the time we got back to the starting line, they were already cleaning up. :( So we ended up going for the concert instead, which was refreshing. I haven't danced my butt off since my clubbing days. I'm really glad that I went and had a lot of fun even though the weather was cold and rainy~ I've never been to a Color Run before because the last time I tried to go, I got into a car accident. This time, Eliza and I volunteered, so we saved $70 each!

Sunday, another day of funnnn~ Hehe. Church friends planned a hot spring trip at Mornington! Satie, Isabel, and I tagged along. We were so distracted all morning that we ended up getting to Mornington by 4PM, so we grabbed lunch before heading off to the hot spring. It was great and relaxing, especially being able to be with friends! But it was a bit crowded which somewhat killed the mood. The one I went in New South Wales was a bit more expensive and I think that's why not many people were there on the day that I was there, but it was a totally different experience and it felt more relaxing with tranquillity and quiet. Either way, it was great to be seeing people and getting out of the house! Haha...

I'm glad I have so many friends in Melbourne and got to experience some new things before heading off. This coming Saturday will be my last day of work. After that, a new journey awaits me. I hope my rest of the trip will be as awesome as my time here in Melbourne!

Disagreements

Am I destine to be single5ever?

Tension has been really high lately between Satie, Isabel, and I... It seems like I am always doing the wrong thing without noticing. Am I not considerate about other people? Or is women really hard to understand?

Saturday, Isabel, Aarati, and I went to Satie's restaurant to try her ramen because they were having a promotion. After eating, Isabel and Aarati decided to go look for bed sheets while I was too full to move so I stayed in my seat. Satie got out of work and rushed me to the bus stop because the bus was arriving in 4 minutes. Without thinking, I got up and ran with her while texting Isabel if she knew how to get to the bus stop. We watched the bus leave and I decided to go back into the shopping center to look for Isabel. When I got back into the shopping center, Isabel started yelling me at for ditching them and leaving them behind. I felt really angry that two girls yelled at me for something that was not entirely my fault. Aarati tried to comfort me, but I didn't talk with either of them for the rest of the night.

Sunday, Satie and I were talking and Saturday night incident somehow came up. We got into a huge argument and she said that if I have anything bothering me, I should just speak up others will understand how I'm feeling and resolve it into of just keeping it in. We got to the point of both of us storming into our rooms. I started praying to God after what I should do... I didn't want our friendship to just mess up like that. I really value our friendship... I finally got an answer after a few minutes of thinking and praying. It's easy for people to blame other people. But we often don't think about maybe we had our part in wrong doing too. I ended up going into Satie's room and apologizing to her saying that I am wrong and I will try to speak up next time when something bothers me.

Tuesday night, we were packing up to move out of our apartment. Satie saw that I was keeping my cactus. She asked, "Are you keeping that?! Just throw it away!" I said Isabel mentioned that she wanted to keep it... Then I said to Satie that she is not considerate about things that aren't hers. The whole night that I was packing, I was asking if she wanted to keep things. She'd just keep replying aggressively saying, "Aishhh, that's not mine!" It got to the point that I just stopped caring and started throwing everything away. I know things aren't hers. In my point of view, I was trying to be considerate to see if she still wanted to keep the items. The toaster is not yours, the bathroom cleaning products are not yours. I ask you if you wanted to keep them because they might come in handy after we move and you said you wanted to keep those things. I accidentally brought up an incident two months ago and she got extremely upset at me.

Wednesday, I honestly forgot that I needed to be at the reception to sign off the lease to the apartment. She was angry at me for two extra days because of that. She did not confront me until tonight because another issue came up.

Today, I booked a bus ticket to Adelaide on the 25th and booked a car from Adelaide to Alice Spring on the 26th with Louie. She wanted to go to Alice Spring for an interview and I wanted to try a road trip to Alice Spring if I can find someone else to split the cost with. Just so happened that we found a car from Hertz that needed relocation and we only have to pay $1/day for the car rental but we have to pick up the car on the 26th. We booked everything before I left the hostel. (For a while, we were planning a trip to the Grampians, but nothing really solidified and no one was really planning much other than "oh, lets go." However, we all took the days off for ANZAC Day for that.) When Isabel and Satie came home, I told them the plan I just made today. They got angry at me. I was inconsiderate to not tell them my plans before booking my bus and car. They feel that I should tell them my plans before booking anything rather than telling them that after the fact. I tried to play it off like, "Okay, I'm wrong. Sorry." because I honestly didn't think I had any fault in that and I didn't feel like arguing but it only made Isabel more angry to the point where she took her dinner back into her room to eat. When Satie came out of the shower, she talked with me about what Isabel felt. She felt like I didn't let her know anything and just went ahead and made my own plans. Yes, I kind of did that because Satie said she didn't want go to Grampians if it's more than a day trip. I didn't want to go to the Grampians if it's just a day trip because 6 hour drive is tiring on top of hiking for the day and I don't think it's enjoyable if it's just a day trip. Then Satie brought up the day of our lease signing. I said, "Okay, I'm sorry. I honestly forgot that I had to be there." She stormed off.

What's going on... Am I really inconsiderate? Is this part of having a relationship between humans? I haven't felt like this ever since I've arrived in Australia. My whole trip, I was a carefree free spirit person just going with the flow. All of a sudden, I make some close friends and now I have all these issues going on. I believe I am a very care free person and not that many things bother me. Even if something bothers me, I usually suck it up and move on because ignorant is bliss. I rather deal with it and not let the other person know than to let them know because humans get offended easily and things only get worse. I have no authority to make them wrong because I don't feel like I am perfect as well. We all do things that we don't mean to hurt or bother others. Afterall, we are humans. We bomb other countries thinking that will solve problems because talking doesn't work. I have apologized more than I have done in the past. The facts are out there and we cannot change it. I don't know what you want me to do.

And that's why I feel like I will never find a partner that will match my personality. Someone who is carefree and free spirited. Someone who doesn't get bothered by minuscule issues; just shrug it off and move on. Someone who is tidy and clean. Someone who enjoy cooking together. Someone like my mother... I finally realized how 伟大 my mother really is. She never once minded how I am and how I turned out to be. She didn't complain about cleaning after me. She didn't get bothered that she needed to bring food up to my room because I'm too lazy to go downstairs. She didn't mind that she needed to pick me up after school because I had to stay after to do work. I read some articles that we are deeply influenced by how our parents raised us up and our ideal partners are something like our parents. Afterall, that's why we love our parents, right?

Life

Different people want different things in life. Some wants fortune, some wants fame, some wants adventure, and others just want to help out the world a little bit at a time. But we all have one ultimate goal in life: to be happy.

Happy: (noun) feeling or showing pleasure or contentment.

We may all take different routes in life, but all of our ultimate goal in life is to achieve happiness. But how do you do that? By doing something that you love to do or achieving what you want to achieve in life. To a person, maybe wealth brings them happiness by having a lot of money in their bank account. A lot of people feel happier with their life when they are well known by a large community. Some people just want to go to third world countries and help out those in need and that will give them fulfilment and joy in life.

For me, I am currently doing what makes me happy. I am traveling in Australia -- learning new knowledge, experiencing different prospectives, developing personal skills, meeting new expectations, sparking up my desires to achieve big things in life, and most of all... I am living the life that makes me happy. To my parents, they might not think this is what life is all about as different people have different views in life. To them, having a house, a family, stable income, and a good retirement is what life is about. I can honestly say, I can live my whole life without a real estate or luxurious possessions and I'd still be happy because I am living my life. Money does not bring happiness. Happiness comes from doing what you love. I was never good at expressing my feelings and emotions through words, but I think my mother is slowing understanding that I am doing what is best for myself. Sometimes, I feel like I am being selfish for leaving my family back at home and leaving Dexter with my parents, but I am certain that this is what I need to do right now.

My mother asked me, "You have been in Australia for eight months now. What have you learned?" Again, I am not good at expressing myself through talking, but I can reassure you that I am a whole new person. It doesn't always have to be technical skills and knowledge that I have to learn. This trip has helped me develop my (inter)personal skills. Back at home, I felt like I was losing my mind. I'd come home from work, play video games, take Dexter out for a walk, sleep, repeat. Work was the same thing everyday. Life was the same thing everyday. I was not learning. I was not developing. I was constantly reminded that I should do more with my life. My work was a low paying job and I need to find something better. I was surrounded by peers that were constantly judging and comparing between each other. I can say this trip was an escape from that. Ever since I've arrived to Australia, I have received nothing but positive feedback. I was constantly reminded that I am really brave for traveling on my own. I am really intelligent for working out such complex planning on traveling with other people. My cooking is delicious. Talking to me made their day. I am very friendly and constantly have a smile on my face even after a long hard day. I can achieve more than what I expect in myself. The people I come across, the friends I meet, and the colleagues I work with, all has build my self-confidence. At home, I was in the dirt. I had no confidence in myself and I didn't believe that I can achieve anything greater than what I had. I beat around the bush hoping that something might come to me. I was too shy to go to company events and holiday parties. I didn't have any motivation for self-development. Long story short, it was bad. But after the last eight months, I have gained what I was seeking for this whole time. I believe that I can achieve what I set my mind to and go beyond what I think I am capable of doing. In the end, even if I fall, I still have two arms and two legs to pick myself up and try again.

So go on, do what makes you happy because that is what living is all about. Do what makes you happy as not as you're not being selfish to others. If you want to travel, go and travel on your own budget. If you want to volunteer at a third world country, then go help the little children. If you love playing video games, make a career out of it by making YouTube videos or streaming to support yourself. If you want to study psychology, double major in something else that can act as a support for your interest just in case one does not get you a stable income. If you want to spend your days smoking weed, then get a job at your local McDonald's and earn money for your weed. Life is an endless opportunity. Don't let the noises in your life affect how you live because at the end of the day, the life is yours and no others. Don't let other people navigate your life. Do what you love and you won't regret a single day.